I have cracked the code to happiness.
Let’s get 2 work.
Throughout each day, we automatically form several expectations in our minds, some are big, and some are small. We form so many that we don’t even realize how often we go around expecting shit. People can tell you to lower your expectations, or to cease having them altogether, but that is unreasonable. In order to really get a grip on our expectations we must look inward. But before we talk about that, let’s discuss this.
When you pick up your phone, or when you turn on your shower, you EXPECT it to work. When you get in your car, you EXPECT it to drive. When you give a woman your money, energy, attention, and time, you EXPECT sex. So on and so on.
Here’s what I’ve discovered.
When reality is equal to our expectations, meaning what’s actually happening is equal to what we’ve imagined, we find ourselves at peace. When reality delivers less than what we’ve expected, meaning what is actually happening is worse than what we’ve imagined, we find ourselves angry, frustrated, or sad. When reality delivers greater than what we’ve expected, meaning what is actually happening is better than what we’ve imagined, we find our ourselves experiencing …happiness. As always, here’s some examples.
Reality delivers less than Expected - Your girl leaves you. You expect her to come back to you once she finds out the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Time goes by. Not only does she not come back to you, but you also find out that she’s doing better without you. How do you feel? Angry? Frustrated? Sad?
Reality is equal to Expectations- Your girl leaves you. You expect her to come back to you once she finds out the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Time goes by. She apologizes and comes back to you. How do you feel? Satisfied? Vindicated? At peace?
Reality delivers greater than Expected-Your girl leaves you. You don’t expect her to ever come back to you. Time goes by. One day, you get a phone call from her saying she wants to get back together. How do you feel? Joyful? Exuberant? Happy?
Here’s the problem with you and with most people. Your expectations are wrapped up in external things in which you have absolutely no control. But YOU, you can control what you expect from you. If you are depressed right now it’s because you’re expectaions and reality are not in alignment. As men, we must not focus on being happy, we must focus on being at peace. In order to find and maintain this peace, you must channel your expectations towards YOURSELF and meet them daily. As a byproduct, when you begin to exceed those expectations you’ve set for yourself, you will find happiness. At the same time, failing to meet personal expectations will cause you to feel the opposite.
People will disappoint you. Man made things just don’t act right sometimes. But we have the power to obtain peace on a consistent basis. How do you do this specifically? Each night before bed, make a list of what you need to accomplish the following day. At the end of the day, check off the things you were able to accomplish. Take a mental note of how you feel during this process. On the days you manage to get everything done, notice how you feel a sense of pride, notice that feeling of peace. Also pay attention to the days when you exceed your expectations or fail to meet them. How do you feel on those days? It will behoove you to repeat what works, day in, and day out.
Happiness code… unlocked.
WALT FACTUAL
