“When a man loves a woman, can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else, he’d trade the world for the good thing he’s found, if she is bad, he can’t see it, she can do no wrong, turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.” Percy Sledge (1966)
I was recently asked by a woman if I have given up on love. I believe love is beautiful. Love is God. I have love for many people in my life. So no, I have not given up on love. But… I have given up on being… IN love.
How does a man fall in love?
First of all, a man doesn’t fall in love by accident, it doesn’t just…happen. He either got fooled or he fooled himself. Every time I fell in love, I willingly, fooled myself. Now, the more time a man spends with a woman, the more attached he becomes. Whereas the less time a man spends with a woman, the more attached she becomes. Nonetheless, the more attached a man becomes, the more he begins to mentally, physically, and spiritually form a bond with that woman.
Life for men is extremely hard. When we are with a woman that we admire, we feel as if we can take off our cape, we feel…safe. We feel safe because a woman’s energy is the exact opposite of hard. Women are often soft, gentle, warm, and comforting. This energy strikes a chord with us because it subconsciously reminds us of how we felt when we were young and in the presence of our mothers. This maternal vibration invites us to let our guards down. For men, time spent leads to bonding which leads to feeling safe which then leads to… LOVE.
Being in love ultimately turns an alpha male back into a little boy. Why? When women are trying to lock men down, they will go out of their way to show that they are a catch. Therefore, they will be reliable, caring, considerate, kind, and selfless, just like our mothers were. This PERFORMANCE, makes us comfortable and inevitably puts us in our boy energy. Woman makes man feel safe, now, he has become dependent, needy, and doesn’t want to do anything but be with that woman. Woman makes man feel secure, now he has become insecure, not because he doesn’t trust her, but because he fears he will lose her. Woman makes man feel good, now he has become emotional…daily.
A woman doesn’t want to be a man’s mother, but it is her mommy energy that makes a man fall in love. A woman doesn’t want a boy, yet it is only the boy who can fall. A woman wants the man she fell in love with to love her back, but that man can’t love her and still love his purpose. Why? “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one and love the other or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.” (Matthew 6:24) When I was married, I secretly despised my ex-wife because I felt my love for her was holding me back. Choosing to love a woman is choosing between being a boy or a man, and if a man chooses to be a boy, his woman will eventually despise him for it.
So, should men give up on love? Absolutely not. But men should give up on being IN love. I know a lot of men who are IN love and portray to be very happy. But I also know this, these men have no purpose, no mission, and no vision. These men have made their women their God and I know for a fact that if their women were left in a room with me, it would be…murda. So, I say to you dear reader, by all means… be fond of a woman, really like a woman, HAVE love for a woman, but whatever you do, don’t spend lots of time with them, don’t allow them to mother you, don’t be feeling all safe and shit, and whatever you do, don’t fall in love.
Godspeed.
WALT FACTUAL
