“Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It’s got no use on the inside. You better get used to that idea.” Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Let’s Get to Work.
I can hear your thoughts. You’re saying to yourself, “What’s wrong with hope?”
Why do we allow people to fail us over and over again? Why is it that when people show us who they really are, we still don’t believe them?
The answer is this.
Hope.
Hope is the root of disappointment.
Every time we have been disappointed, it was because someone killed what we consciously or subconsciously hoped for. If you tell someone a secret, you HOPE they do not tell anyone. If you lend someone money, you HOPE that they will pay you back. If you marry someone, you HOPE that person will never leave you.
We can either go through life with a “hope” strategy or with what I call a… “know” strategy. Most people spend their whole lives hoping. They hope to get rich. They hope people will do the right thing. They hope that someday that someone will change. This is what Coach Greg Adams calls the “hope” strategy. People like hope because it’s easy to do. It requires no work and no responsibility. Why become the best version of yourself when all you have to do is HOPE that somebody will accept you for who you are? Why grind when all you have to do is play the lottery and HOPE that one day, you will never have to work again? Why do anything, when all you have to do is…HOPE?
The difference between hoping and knowing is… effort. A “know” strategy consists of studying, planning, anticipating, and applying. All to which leads to you knowing a thing instead of hoping for a thing. Let’s say that you want to get into a monogamous relationship with someone you met a month ago. Okay. What do you know about her? I’ll tell you now, for the first 3 months, you know nothing. So, what must you do? You must implement the “know” strategy. STUDY this woman and take a mental note of everything. PLAN for the possibility of disappointment. ANTICIPATE the bullshit. And when the opportunity presents itself, APPLY the plan with professionalism. Here’s an example of how I use the “know” strategy.
For whatever reason, guests for my podcast normally cancel at the last minute. I have STUDIED the fact that it is often female guests who cancel. So, when we invite females on the podcast…I PLAN for the possibility of disappointment. I create one show for the scheduled guests, and I make a back-up show for just the squad. I then ANTICIPATE the bullshit. This Wednesday, I got a call from an upcoming guest. She informed me that neither she nor her friends would be able to make the show this weekend. So now, I must APPLY my plan. I said to her, “No problem, next time is always the best time.” (Professionalism) If I believed in the “hope strategy”, I would be fucked this week.
I’m not saying the “know” strategy will help you avoid being hurt by people. But it will help you avoid being hurt by the same people, over the same thing, again, and again. When you are planning for the possibility of disappointment, cutting a person out of your life will often have to be a part your plan. When you anticipate the bullshit, and a person actually comes with some bullshit, cut them off immediately or suffer the same fate of people who love to hope.
Take “hope” out of your vocabulary and replace it with the word “know.” KNOW that you will succeed. KNOW that this too shall pass. KNOW that you have greatness inside you. Know this, not because I’m telling you, but because you have put in the effort and done the work.
Hope is the root of disappointment, but confidence is the fruit of knowing.
WALT FACTUAL
