A female listener and friend of the podcast introduced to me a pressing question that she said many females needed an answer to.
Let’s get to work.
Her question, rather questions, were presented to me as the following… “Women crave clarity and validation, and we need to know WHY men aren’t communicating that clearly? WHY aren’t men providing women with the clarity and validation women need to give a man their “all”? WHY aren’t men winning in this area? 80% of women in relationships with men “they wanted” always feel like they’re fighting for their spot. WHY? Are these men uninterested? Or have they lost interest over time? Women want to know; how do I know that he loves me? Men aren’t saying it! Even though men lead with their actions, women on the other hand move with their words. Are men just not clear on what they want or is it just something that they don’t consider when forming relationships?
You know what I would like to know, why the hell do women be all over the damn place when they’re trying to articulate a single thought? First, I’m going to explain why men do what they do and then I’m going to say what women must do going forward.
Men do not communicate how they feel about you because we ignore our own damn feelings. We feel tired, yet we still have to go to work. We feel like crying and breaking down, yet we tell you we are okay. We feel like giving up, yet we press on. Society as a whole do not care how men feel. We have learned to be hard and cold in order to operate in a hard and cold world. For a man to survive, excel, and become the best version of himself, he must ignore his feelings. There is no on and off switch. And If I ignore myself, I will definitely ignore you. Second, you must ask yourself, did this man want this relationship, or did I pressure him into it? If you pressured him into the relationship, he doesn’t value it. We value what we want. A woman will always feel as if she is fighting for her spot with a man in which she forced him to commit to her. Men who didn’t want a relationship will always treat the relationship the same way women treat cars. I can hear yall now…let me finish. Most women don’t take care of their cars. You don’t change the spark plugs and do regular oil changes. You don’t put gasoline into your car until you’re almost about to be stranded on the side of the road. And I know for a fact you don’t even know where your car manual is. All you do is get in and drive. The only time you give the car attention is when the car won’t go. So are these men in relationships. They have learned to simply accept their life with you and as long as the relationship is going, they will assume everything is fine.
Are men just not clear on what they want or is it just something that they don’t consider when forming relationships? Men are very clear on what they want, yall are just not listening nor paying attention. He doesn’t want a relationship, yet you force him to marry you. He just wants pussy, yet you force him to take you out. A man will only be to you what he has already DECIDED to be to you…on his own. If you are feeling he is uninterested, has lost interest, or feeling as if he doesn’t love you, your feelings are not inaccurate. You are dealing with a man who has made up his mind about you…a long time ago.
All hope is not lost.
I know you think you’re special, and you might be, but men falling in love has little to do with you and more to do with us choosing to be OPEN to the possibility of love. Before we even meet you, we know whether or not we are ready to settle down. When we are open to love, we are simultaneously open and willing to do whatever FOR love. From the onset, you, must determine exactly what his mind is made up about. If his mind is made on not falling in love, not being in a relationship, and/or not getting married, ACCEPT the fact that he doesn’t want what you want and move on. A man who is serious about you will mention it very early on, if he’s not, he won’t, that simple.
Now, if you are a woman who is currently in a relationship, here’s what you must do. Although you cannot change the mind of a man once it’s made up, you can plant seeds to which will have him thinking. Your job is to get him thinking about what you want but you must do it in a way that he believes he came up with it on his own. How do you do this you ask? With you’re greatest asset…PUSSY. That’s right. You want him to give you more clarity and validation? You will have to mix it in with sex. You want more communication, plant the seed while you let him massage your naked body with oil. You want him to express his feelings, plant the seed while you walk around in some new lingerie. While you got your hand on his dick, ask him to tell you why he loves you. At first, he’s not gonna know what the hell is going on and he might act a bit bashful. It’s all good, don’t press him and don’t take anything personal because guess what… now you’ve got him thinking. A man will listen to anything you have to say when he’s bricked up. This will take a little time, effort, and patience, but you got this.
One last thing. WE CANNOT READ YOUR MIND. Many of us are oblivious to how you are really feeling. Do not assume that we know. Put in some EFFORT and just tell us what’s going on. And when is the best time for you to talk to your man about how you feel? During times of intimacy. Break down the word intimacy and you get… “Into me, See.”
Dear women, your welcome.
WALT FACTUAL
