How I Bounced Back From My Divorce

Let’s put a pin in the “Four Stages of Human Nature Q&A” for now, as there is a more pressing matter at hand. Someone close to me has hit absolute rock bottom in their life. So much so that they are contemplating suicide. I have considered recommending various books, podcasts, and YouTube videos, but I know that no single video or book will suffice. The best course of action is to explain exactly what I did to pull myself out of the darkness. I pray that what I share here today not only helps them, but also helps you as well, whether it be now or in the future. So, with that said…

Let’s Get 2 Work!

The Body

-When I realized my marriage was really over, the first thing I did to take my mind off of things was exercise. I downloaded the fitness program Insanity. It’s a 60-day program that took me from 250 lbs. down to 220 lbs. When I completed that, I started another fitness program called P90X which is a 90-day program that consists of cardio and weight training. Next, I completed P90X-2 and then I started hitting the gym. I have always started with getting into shape anytime I needed to kick myself into gear. My philosophy is, “A strong body, equals a strong mind.”

The Mind

- Audible.

In the midst of my divorce, my friend of 15 plus years was accusing me of sleeping with his wife. Needless to say, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. But what I did have is some of the greatest minds to keep me company. Audible was and has truly been a blessing to me. Audible is a membership service app that provides a wide selection of audiobooks and podcasts. My first download was the 26-hour audiobook “The Complete Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch. This book absolutely changed my perspective on the meaning of life and I found it right on time. Since then, I have listened to 66 titles. The books that helped the most were, “Free Agent Lifestyle” by Greg Adams, “The Unplugged Alpha” by Richard Cooper, “You Are a Bad Ass” by Jen Sincero, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Sean Covey, “Destiny” by T.D. Jakes, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover, “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan B. Peterson, “Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter” by Curtis “50 cent” Jackson, and “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” by Malcolm X( I’ve read this three times).

-Voice Recorder.

I downloaded a voice recorder and started recording some of my thoughts. The first one I did was an affirmation recording titled “I Am.” I’ll share it with you here…

-Journal.

I created a journal. My journal included my goals for my mind, body, and spirit. Furthermore, I used it to write personal letters to everyone I have wronged in my life and who have also wronged me (I never sent the letters, it was just a mental exercise). First, I wrote a victim letter in which I blamed them for everything, I would then crumble that one up, and then write a victor letter in which I took full responsibility for how things went. The letter to my ex-wife was the last one I wrote. The journal was also comprised of a “One Good Thing” section where at the end of each day I would write at least one good thing that happened. Additionally, I had a “Love” section where I would list everything I loved. I wrote down a total of 171 things. I’m currently looking at the list now, #170. The smell of clean clothes…#19. Crumbling victim letter…#59. The change of weather in October.

-30 Day Challenges.

On a piece of paper, I made four sections. The Challenge, this is where I would list the challenge and write the start and end date. The Branch, here I wrote what the challenge pertained to, whether it be the mind, body, or soul. Trophy, this was the reward section for completing the challenge. And Next, which encompassed the next challenge after the initial challenge was completed. I created a total of 43 challenges, sometimes doing 6 simultaneously, all ranging anywhere from no smoking to exercising to giving gratitude every morning.

-Family

On my journey to rebuilding myself, the following men I’m about to mention, though they do not know me, have been like family to me. They have all helped me tremendously and I guarantee anyone of these men can help you too. T.D. Jakes, R.I.P. Myles Munroe, ET the Hip Hop Preacher, R.I.P. Kevin Samuels (I know women are thinking… of course), Jordan B. Peterson, Casey Zander, Alpha Male Strategies, Coach Greg Adams, Richard Cooper, Andrew Tate, Patrice O’Neal, FitxFearless, Book of AlphaRonomy, and Solar AlphaAffirmations.

-The End in Mind.

On my door to my office, I have a personal mission statement and a list of 62 things I want to do that would make my life worthwhile. #24. Run with the bulls in Spain…#33. Pilot license…#25. Write, record, and release audiobook on Audible. What does your worthwhile life look like?

The Spirit

God was definitely somebody I wrote to in my victim/victor letters. When everything was falling apart, I thought God was punishing me. I see now that it was all a part of his greater plan. The only way to find God is to find yourself. Who are you? Why are you? To answer these questions, you must meditate. You must learn how to be silent. You must face yourself and all of your demons. It is only then you will hear the voice of God. I started with 10-minute meditation videos on YouTube. I’d light a candle…yes… a candle, put a towel over my head, cut the lights off, sit Indian style, and let my mind go wherever it went. I soon found questions being answered. Not every question was answered, but all the important ones were. Nothing or no one is more masculine than God. God is inside of you, God is all around you, you and God… are one. “I said, you are GODS, and you are all sons of the Most High.” (Psalm 82:6)

I had one good friend that I could talk to during my hardship. I was fortunate. You too, dear reader, are fortunate… because you have me. I pray that this article finds you and helps you at the right time and at the right moment.

Be Great Outchea.

WALT FACTUAL