On my list of things that I love, singing is definitely on there. I don’t sing that well, but I don’t care. I do it all, high pitch, low pitch, and don’t be round’ me when Tamia’s “So Into You” comes on cuz I’m gon’ sang fo’real. On top of singing, I love to dance, if you’re with me and the DJ is playing some 90’s music, we bout to sweat. I forgot how much I loved to sing and dance when I was married. For whatever reason, we as men give up the things we most enjoy when we settle down. With that said…NEVER forget who you are and never let anyone STOP you from being who you are.
Let’s get 2 work.
The new year is approaching and many of you will have made a New Year’s resolution. Statistics show that by February many of you will have already given up on that resolution. In previous articles I have talked to you about defining your “I Am” and understanding who you are. This is the part I have not mentioned…
You can tell yourself you are this and you are that, you can make one thousand resolutions, and you can think positively all you want, but none of this will matter if you don’t have…EVIDENCE.
When you say that you are something or that you will do something, your subconscious mind automatically goes to work in the background. If you say to yourself, “Next Monday, I’m going to start losing weight”, your subconscious will begin to look for the evidence in your life of you shedding pounds. It will search for evidence of your wins and losses concerning your declaration and whichever it finds more of, it will bring to the attention of your conscious mind. This is why sometimes you may have a great idea to start something and then minutes after you are filled with doubt. It’s not that you are being negative, it’s simply that you lack strong evidence to support the fact that you can accomplish this new idea. If there is no evidence of you ever losing weight, or if you have begun the process several times before and given up, then your subconscious will stress to your conscious mind that you are… full of shit.
So, how does one get the subconscious mind on board?
There is a saying that states, “There is only one way to eat an elephant and that is one bite at a time.”
You must begin to STACK the evidence and you do so by stacking SMALL wins and making NOTE of it so that the subconscious registers the victories. Over time, small wins become…big wins. The long-term goal here is to make the subconscious mind believe that when you say you will do something… you will do it. High self-esteem and confidence mainly stem from self-respect and you build that respect by being a person who keeps their word to themselves. But, before you can be a “Walk it like I talk it” type of person, you have to do some evidence stacking.
Here’s an example…
-Make a small declaration. “Tomorrow I’m going to wake up at 9 am and walk for one block.”
Your subconscious mind is like, “Yeah right”, so what, ignore it.
-The night before, write the plan out on some paper. Put your running shoes and outfit by the bed. (Small Win #1)
-Game time, it’s the morning, you get up and put on the gear. (Small Win #2)
-You do the walk around the block and then decide to do 3 more blocks. (Small Wins 3 & 4)
-The day is over and you’ve had 4 wins. It was a good day. You proclaim you will do it again and write down that tomorrow you will walk 2 blocks. Now, notice how you believe in yourself a little more. There is still some doubt, but the doubt is not as loud as it was yesterday. This is because you’ve given your subconscious EVIDENCE that you CAN get things done, you clearly just have to do it one bite at a time. Another win.
In the words of Alonzo Harris, aka Denzel Washington, “It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove.”
HAPPY NEW YEAR
WALT FACTUAL
